WANTED: PARENT. The ideal candidate will create emotional and personal safety; helping the child feel safe, accepted and loved. The parent will guide and set limits for the child while allowing her freedom to develop her independence and judgment. He will love and empathize with the child, listen and communicate with the child, protect the child and be consistent, loving and nurturing.

This seems to be a tall order. What is a parent’s job? It’s all of the things mentioned above and more.

A good parent is loving
Love does not depend on behavior or the parent’s mood. Love is unconditional and nothing can change it. The child knows that nothing he does will change the fact that he is loved.

A good parent values the child as he is
Like Mr. Rogers the ideal parents likes the child “just the way you are.” The parent does not use the child to live out her own unfulfilled dreams and desires but helps the child to reach for his own dreams.

A parent is consistent
The child needs a few rules that are always the same. Consequences for breaking those rules should be a choice. The child knows the consequence of her actions. A child receives preparation for adult life by learning that her actions have consequences and by learning from her mistakes.

A parent protects her child
The parent protects the child from hazards in the environment. The parent also protects the child from abuse by others. It is his job to ensure the child’s physical and emotional safety,

A parent sets boundaries for himself and helps the child to set boundaries, too
Parents and children have specific needs. The parent does not expect the child to meet her emotional needs or take care of her. The child is allowed privacy and autonomy.

A parent develops independence and responsibility in her child
The child is given the opportunity to learn new things. He is allowed to succeed on his own or learn from his failures. The parent helps the child to develop the self- sufficiency and judgement necessary to become a fully functioning adult.

A parent listens to his child and communicates with her
The parent focuses on the child. He does not try to multitask but listens and responds; making the child his priority.

Being a parent is the most challenging and important job most of us will ever have. Our children deserve all of our efforts.