Many of us have worn masks at Halloween.
We put them on for a few hours, endure the discomfort
and solicit our neighbors for candy, and then remove
them until next year. There are other masks that
we actually wear because they feel more comfortable
than our genuine selves. We wear them more regularly,
not really knowing that we have them on. We can
more easily spot these masks when others present
in them, but in order to be a fully congruent person,
we need to recognize our defenses and remove our
masks. Which of these masks do you wear?
- CLIFF CLAVIN
This person knows everything, or at least would
never admit that they didn't. They don't listen
well and give the impression that they expect
to learn very little from others.
- MOTHER THERESA/GANDHI
This soft-hearted person is the group peacemaker
and rescuer. Positive emotions are shown in
all their glory, but the negative ones are never
displayed. They may intervene to help out the
underdog, but gently. Genuineness is sacrificed
for diplomacy.
- COURT JESTER
This person loves the fact that people get a
kick out of him/her. They will try to make people
laugh in order to lighten things up.
- TERMINATOR
Nice guys finish last, so this guy has to win,
even at another's expense. Every discussion
is a debate until others agree or concede. They
cannot lose an argument, admit that they were
wrong, or confess their faults. These guys are
driven to get ahead and will mow down anyone
who stands in their way or who might surpass
them.
- CYNIC
This demoralized dreamer began with grand expectations
of life and the belief that the universe would
follow these unique expectations. When the painful
collision with reality occurs, they avoid looking
within for answers by looking outside for blame.
"You can't trust anyone." "The
system is corrupt."
- BIG SHOT
This guy owns more, has achieved more, and is
a "friend of the great and the near-great".
They are name-droppers who openly resent insignificant
people who cannot fuel their grandiose sense
of personal importance. Inwardly, they believe
that who they know and what they have is what
makes them important.
- LONE RANGER
The Lone Ranger is more comfortable being at
a distance. They do almost everything alone,
as if accommodating other people is too much
bother. Better to believe that they are alone
by choice than by default.
- DR. LAURA (THERAPIST)
This person is always giving advice whether
you ask for it or not. They have an exaggerated
desire to control the lives and even the thoughts
of others. If they can take credit for fixing
someone, it may mean that they are OK themselves.
- BLANCHE DUBOIS
Handle these fragile, sensitive, delicate flowers
with caution. They are neurotic creatures with
an inability to cope with life on life's terms.
They tie themselves to their own railroad track
so that you can rescue them.
- OPERA SINGER (ME-ME-ME)
This egotist looks out for #1 and will tune
out of the conversation unless they are the
topic. There is nothing to give to the group,
since there is only enough emotional energy
for himself/herself.
- FENCE-STRADDLER
This procrastinator is most comfortable staying
in uncertainty and avoiding taking a stand.
If no decision is made, nothing can go wrong.
- SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTER
This person has a short fuse. Any event could
cause an impulsive over-reaction.
- PLAYER
Players use their looks or their sexuality for
recognition, whether it's admiration or jealousy.
For them, value comes from desirability, and
they seem to believe that they are judged by
their conquests.
Each of these masks has a specific defensive
purpose. Try to figure out what your mask is designed
to protect you from. Then become willing to confront
those demons head-on. Then you can save the masks
and costumes for Halloween. |
Marriage
& Relationships
