Well, it is
that time of year again. For most of us, the holidays
offer a chance to exchange gifts and words of
good cheer with family, friends and co-workers.
Most of us also take the time to look into the
future, not into a crystal ball, but we think
about what we want to achieve during the next
year and then start to create a New Year's resolution.
Most of us declare a New Year's resolution of
either quitting or starting something. But, many
of us do not follow through and accomplish any
of them.
As most of us make New Year's
resolutions each year, people usually make the
same resolutions year after year. Despite repeated
failure at attempts to change aspects of behavior,
people make frequent attempts at changing themselves.
Even with unsuccessful attempts in changing oneself
does not diminish the likelihood of making future
plans for self-change.
My question is: Have you made
your New Year's resolutions yet? There are many
things to be added to our lists. You may be surprised
while thinking about your new year's resolutions
list that one of them might actually fit for you
and that you may accomplish what you set out to
do. Many of us do not have a clue how to make
a reasonable resolution. We set high goals for
ourselves, and then wonder why we never attain
them. So, we either stop setting goals, or make
resolutions that are too easy to keep. For instance,
I asked a friend what his New Year's resolution
was last year. He thought seriously and then replied
"breathing".
Traditionally, people treat their
New Year's resolutions as dreams or vague desires
that they hope will someday come true. In fact,
it is precisely this uninspiring attitude that
causes most resolutions to fail in the first place!
You can choose to view your yearly promise(s)
as a wish list that "would be nice if it
came true," but that you don't really expect
to happen; on the other hand, you can look at
it as a positive opportunity to take action and
create what you really want in life. Just understand
that the first technique generally doesn't work;
the second is far more likely to bring you success.
Okay, assuming that you're interested
in achieving results, you must first TURN YOUR
RESOLUTIONS INTO A GOAL. The moment you begin
to think of your promise in this light, you will
automatically relate to it differently. After
all, a goal is something serious, something that
you intend to accomplish, and something that you
have to work towards. What follows are some specific
steps that will help you translate your New Year's
resolution(s) into solid, achievable goals!
- SET GOALS THAT CALL FOR YOU TO "STRETCH"
BEYOND WHAT YOU MIGHT NORMALLY BELIEVE YOU
CAN ACCOMPLISH.
As Napoleon Hill said, "Whatever the
mind of man can conceive and believe, it can
achieve." Determine what you really believe
you can accomplish. There are no limitations
except those you acknowledge. (Make only one
or two resolutions, make them realistic enough
to the point you feel confident that you can
achieve them).
- SELECT AN AREA OVER WHICH YOU EXERCISE
THE CONTROL, RATHER THAN A SITUATION IN WHICH
CHANCE HAS A STRONG INFLUENCE.
For example, a New Year's resolution that
you're going to win the lottery would not
be effective because you don't directly influence
the outcome of the games. You do, however,
control the quality of your work, the number
of times you call on prospective clients,
etc. Focus on these areas and improve your
performance. (Choose a resolution that you
have been thinking about for some time).
- PUT YOUR GOAL IN WRITING.
When you write out your resolution, you'll
find that you become much more serious about
achieving it. You must also pay special attention
to the way in which you write your goals.
- SET A TIME DEADLINE FOR ACCOMPLISHING
YOUR GOAL.
Tack on a "by when" to the end of
the statement -- that is, " ... by May
1, 2004." This adds a sense of urgency
and immediately puts you into action. (If
you do not succeed, determine what the barriers/obstacles
are that blocked you and try again).
- VISUALIZE YOURSELF ACHIEVING THIS
GOAL.
Create a vivid mental picture of yourself
(for example) presiding over a tremendously
successful catering affair. Imagine your client
smiling and thanking you for cooking such
an exceptional meal. Allow yourself to experience
the positive feeling, e.g., pride, happiness,
satisfaction -- that go along with your accomplishment.
The more you can "see" your success
in your mind's eye the more likely you will
be to create this success in reality.
This year you can make commitments
to yourself and achieve their benefits. If you
write them down on paper, where you can see them
every day, it can trigger your commitment to accomplish
something you promised yourself. Start your list
TODAY--2004 will undoubtedly pass by just as quickly
as 2003!
A New Year's Resolution made at the last
minute is a sure-fire formula
for failure 
- Dr. Alan Marlatt
Director, University of Washington's Addictive
Behaviors Research Center. |
Marriage
& Relationships
