Ideally, the holiday season should be a joyous time especially for children. However, for many children with special needs, or in foster homes it is also a time for loneliness, sadness, anxiety, depression and disappointment. All of the media attention on Christmas gifts and Santa Claus can cause these children to feel left out. They know that they are not going to be with their own families or receive the kind of wonderful gifts portrayed in commercials on television. Unrealistic expectations can cause a child to go crashing into acting out through anger, resentment and jealousy, or to withdraw and become anxious and/or depressed.

Anger can be projected outward by verbal or physical fighting, or inward, causing depression and withdrawal from their normal activities.

What to Watch For:

• Depressed mood, change in sleeping patterns
• Change in appetite or weight
• Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities.
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Feelings of worthlessness, self-reproach, or guilt
• Extreme anxiety, agitation or enraged behavior

What to Do:

• Talk to the child about the holidays, how they feel: about being away from home, or being unable to do the things other children can.
• Listen to the child, let them talk and don’t try to rationalize with them about why they shouldn’t feel the way they do.
• Accept that they have a right to be sad during a holiday that is supposed to be so joyful.
• Watch their sugar intake, too much sugar can cause an euphoric high and then sudden fatigue and depression.
  
• Makes sure they are physically active which will help their mood stay level.
  
• Give them actively involved in helping others who are even more disadvantaged or challenged than they are, e.g. Take them to a nursing home to visit the elderly.
  
• Help them make handmade gifts for their loved ones
  
• Talk to them about the real meaning of Christmas, as a season of giving of oneself, rather than receiving material goods.

Finally, remember children are people too and they have the same feelings and emotions as adults. They just don’t have the same communication skills as most adults. The holidays are a stressful time for many adults, so why should we think children are different. Have a wonderful holiday season and if you or your child is in need, help is available if you seek it.